Black Tennis Pros

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Hello again everyone,

Today I played my first match of the week against Jill Craybas, and I won. I felt pretty good about the match. I had a bit of a slow start and she was playing well, hitting deep. But I just didn't want to lose. We had a close first few games, and then I really started to find my rhythm. I'm very pleased. I think my forehand in particular was working really well towards the end. Whatever it takes, you know.

Tonight I went to the player party, which was fun. I may have let myself down a little bit, because I immediately rushed to the french fries. I just went right to them. I don't really eat much, so fries count as a carbohydrate! Boiled or fried, the only thing that matters is that I'm eating. I eat to live, not live to eat. And they were so nice and salty. Okay I did have other things like fish and whatever else I had on my plate - but those fries would have gotten cold if I didn't take them - and even as they got us to do this thing where we hit a barrel with saki in it, all I could think of was the fries getting cold. I know I made the right decision.

I actually ended up sitting with the American guys at the player party (this is a combined event). Zack Fleishman, Amer Delic and a few more. But then I looked and saw all the girls sitting across the room. I thought to myself, 'Does this mean I'm one of those girls that always sits with the guys and never gets a boyfriend?' I don't know how I ended up there but I tried not to think about it too much.

I'm playing the second match after 10am tomorrow, so I figured I'd head back to the hotel relatively early. I've been doing some online shopping unfortunately - it's addictive. I was thinking of finishing that book tonight. It's just gotten crazier. Some sick things are happening in the book that just made me ill. I have never allowed a book to get to me like this. There's just no hope in it. But I am planning to finish it tonight - it just has to be done. I only have like 50 pages left. I hope SOMEBODY survives. But it seems like it's just going to end in tragedy. Usually it takes me two or three days to get through a book - I can't read slowly, I just have to know what happens. I can't not know.

I'll probably do more work on my designs tonight, as well. I'm graduating from fashion school this fall and I haven't really done anything the last two days, and that's no good. Now I'm always trying to be ahead of the game. I used to stay up so late to finish things; I remember when I first started I'd be up all night almost. One day I had just come back from a tournament in Zürich and went straight to the school, then drove home and was up until 4am or something, then I went back there for 6, crazy stuff like that. Back then I'd stay up until I felt my heart beating and knew I had to sleep, but I'd still run to Kinko's to print stuff out. I can't do that anymore. So what I try to do now is go to the school before I'm leaving on a trip and ask about the curriculum. I try to get going a few weeks before the term starts. Sometimes I finish my designs a few weeks before the deadlines. It can be stressful, but I know my boys will be beautiful!

Speaking of designs, I'm really excited about EleVen. It's not out yet, but it'll be coming out in November. I've been in school and making my own stuff for a long time but it's just too much labor; but when someone else does all of the work off your designs, it's just great! I think the summer coming up will be the best part of the collection. I think my favorite design would be this warm-up suit that has an upside down V - it's so slimming and so flattering that I wear it all the time.

Something else exciting I'd like to comment on is Lindsay's return to the Tour. I think it's just amazing, more than I would ever dream of doing myself. I mean, if I were to become a mom I'd want to be the Posh Spice mom: in my sunglasses, extra fit, jet setting without a care in the world. I can't imagine becoming a mom then coming back and doing so well so quickly. I haven't had the chance to talk to her since her return, but I'm following it and it's awesome. And she wants to play in the Olympics next year, too, so that's obviously great for the United States.

This isn't the first time I've kept some sort of blog or diary online before - on my website I used to have one. I was also on MySpace for a minute but I was under an alias. I'd go on there to complain - it was a venting ground for me. Everybody was there to make friends and I was there to vent. At the time I was injured, and because I wasn't playing I had so much time to do so many other things such as going out and going on life adventures and I always had crazy stuff happening to me. If I made a fool out of myself I'd go on there to confess; if I had a falling out I'd go on there to talk about it. But in the end I just quit. Serena got an official MySpace and linked me as a friend, and people started going to my page and figuring out who it was even though I was under an alias. I'm probably still there. Well, the alias is probably still on there. But she's BAD. Last I heard, she got into a situation she couldn't get out of, so she passed away.

Speaking of Serena, we've been keeping in touch, of course, even though she's in Stuttgart this week. We always keep each other posted on gossip and drama. We laugh and laugh. She'll tell me about guy stuff then I'll say I know all about it, and we'll keep going. Right now I'm playing the part of the wise, older sister.

I'm playing another American, Vania King, in the second round on Wednesday. We've never played on the Tour before but we have played on the same team in Fed Cup. I think it'll be interesting playing my Fed Cup teammate. It's a bit early tomorrow but it doesn't matter - I just want to get right into the grind this week.

Talk to you all tomorrow,

xxx

Venus

-----